Blasting With Boyles
The Greenest/Stupidest Gathering Since The Creation Of The Planet
As the known world is aware, there will be a gathering of eagles in Denver, Colorado, toward the end of August unlike anything, according to Governor Bill Ritter and Mayor John Hickenloooper, ever before seen by human eyes. Since the time when the Tyrannosaurus Rex walked down Jurassic Blvd., now known as the 16th Street Mall, nothing has been so green.
As Kermit the Frog knew, and as Denver’s DNC Committee is quickly learning, it ain’t easy being green. Let’s start first with the total lack of funding. The City Democratic Welcoming Committee that will forever be known as “the Green Greeters,” is number one, under funded. Also, their volunteer committee coordinator quit and their caterers are scoffing (if they can get through the application form), which is apparently the size of a NYC phone directory and is more politically correct than the thoughts of Chairman Mao.
Besides weighing carbon footprints and figuring out what celebrities are going to be renting what mansions when they fly in on their own private jets, the City of Denver seems more concerned about squashing the First Amendment rights of a bunch of angry protesters and seems to want to jam them, like expensive alcohol in a southern honky-tonk, behind chicken wire. As Kurt Vonnegut says, “and so it goes.”
Rumors abound; does the beam gun exist and is it in the hands of the Denver Police Department. According to what I watched on 60 Minutes, when cut loose on protesters, the beam guns, which kind of look like garbage can lids, make people feel like they’re on fire and cause them to run away. The beam gun is real. The speculation is: does the n-note exist. The n-note is the true marvel of modern technology. According to the rumors, before burning you, the n-note makes you defecate in your pants and then it makes you feel like you’re on fire and then you run down the street. Boy is this going to be fun.
So imagine that if you’re not allowed to sleep in the parks and 50,000 Tent State University students suddenly appear here in Denver in August, here are the Looper’s choices: the beam gun, the black national anthem, the n-note or turn on the sprinklers. You pick which three out of the four seem like a good idea and which one you think the Looper will choose. If you guessed the black national anthem, you’re probably wrong, but then again…..
So how much fun is this going to be for you and the entire family to either Re-Create 68, Code Pink or to Free Leonard Peltier. I know you want to bring the kids to this. One of the more burning questions is will the mall shuttles run? I’d love to see hundreds of out- of-state protesters around the 16th Street Mall with the pickpockets, Goths, and death-walkers. Has anyone really thought this thing through?
On a serious note, unless I miss my guess, the founders kind of guaranteed these protesters the right to yell at the Democrats as some sort of penumbra right. On a more sonorous note, the Republicans will be gathering in St. Paul. The protest marches there will come within 84 feet of their convention center. If you measure from the chicken wire fences to the Pepsi Center, it’s more than two football fields. So the Democrats, like French royalty, will be kept away from the great unwashed of the peasantry and the freedom cages in relationship to the Pepsi Center’s Palace of Versailles. Historic footnote: Does anyone remember what happened to Louie and Marie? It didn’t go well.
Now moving on to the main event: Barack Obama speechifying at Invesco. My best bet is when the announcement comes to tear down the wall and allow people access to the candidate by the Obama campaign, which was really aimed as a shot in the snotbox, to the City of Denver’s Greenest Convention of All Time Committee. Now here’s the big question: You’re putting these people in the freedom cages, how are you going to keep them down on the farm once they realize they can break into Invesco?
Ending this on a serious note, what will happen in Denver on August 25-28, will depend entirely on who shows up. I really believe that if it’s just the people that I have met from these different protest groups, which have been above board to negotiate with the City, all will go very well. But if the World Trade Organization protesters, the anarchists and the out-of-control trouble-making people come to Denver it will be Katy bar the door. We’ll know by Labor Day whether or not this is a repeat of the appearance by the Holy Father John Paul II when he came to Denver, or the 1968 streets of Chicago with Hubert Humphrey.
Pull for the Pope.
Peter
The Greenest/Stupidest Gathering Since The Creation Of The Planet
As the known world is aware, there will be a gathering of eagles in Denver, Colorado, toward the end of August unlike anything, according to Governor Bill Ritter and Mayor John Hickenloooper, ever before seen by human eyes. Since the time when the Tyrannosaurus Rex walked down Jurassic Blvd., now known as the 16th Street Mall, nothing has been so green.
As Kermit the Frog knew, and as Denver’s DNC Committee is quickly learning, it ain’t easy being green. Let’s start first with the total lack of funding. The City Democratic Welcoming Committee that will forever be known as “the Green Greeters,” is number one, under funded. Also, their volunteer committee coordinator quit and their caterers are scoffing (if they can get through the application form), which is apparently the size of a NYC phone directory and is more politically correct than the thoughts of Chairman Mao.
Besides weighing carbon footprints and figuring out what celebrities are going to be renting what mansions when they fly in on their own private jets, the City of Denver seems more concerned about squashing the First Amendment rights of a bunch of angry protesters and seems to want to jam them, like expensive alcohol in a southern honky-tonk, behind chicken wire. As Kurt Vonnegut says, “and so it goes.”
Rumors abound; does the beam gun exist and is it in the hands of the Denver Police Department. According to what I watched on 60 Minutes, when cut loose on protesters, the beam guns, which kind of look like garbage can lids, make people feel like they’re on fire and cause them to run away. The beam gun is real. The speculation is: does the n-note exist. The n-note is the true marvel of modern technology. According to the rumors, before burning you, the n-note makes you defecate in your pants and then it makes you feel like you’re on fire and then you run down the street. Boy is this going to be fun.
So imagine that if you’re not allowed to sleep in the parks and 50,000 Tent State University students suddenly appear here in Denver in August, here are the Looper’s choices: the beam gun, the black national anthem, the n-note or turn on the sprinklers. You pick which three out of the four seem like a good idea and which one you think the Looper will choose. If you guessed the black national anthem, you’re probably wrong, but then again…..
So how much fun is this going to be for you and the entire family to either Re-Create 68, Code Pink or to Free Leonard Peltier. I know you want to bring the kids to this. One of the more burning questions is will the mall shuttles run? I’d love to see hundreds of out- of-state protesters around the 16th Street Mall with the pickpockets, Goths, and death-walkers. Has anyone really thought this thing through?
On a serious note, unless I miss my guess, the founders kind of guaranteed these protesters the right to yell at the Democrats as some sort of penumbra right. On a more sonorous note, the Republicans will be gathering in St. Paul. The protest marches there will come within 84 feet of their convention center. If you measure from the chicken wire fences to the Pepsi Center, it’s more than two football fields. So the Democrats, like French royalty, will be kept away from the great unwashed of the peasantry and the freedom cages in relationship to the Pepsi Center’s Palace of Versailles. Historic footnote: Does anyone remember what happened to Louie and Marie? It didn’t go well.
Now moving on to the main event: Barack Obama speechifying at Invesco. My best bet is when the announcement comes to tear down the wall and allow people access to the candidate by the Obama campaign, which was really aimed as a shot in the snotbox, to the City of Denver’s Greenest Convention of All Time Committee. Now here’s the big question: You’re putting these people in the freedom cages, how are you going to keep them down on the farm once they realize they can break into Invesco?
Ending this on a serious note, what will happen in Denver on August 25-28, will depend entirely on who shows up. I really believe that if it’s just the people that I have met from these different protest groups, which have been above board to negotiate with the City, all will go very well. But if the World Trade Organization protesters, the anarchists and the out-of-control trouble-making people come to Denver it will be Katy bar the door. We’ll know by Labor Day whether or not this is a repeat of the appearance by the Holy Father John Paul II when he came to Denver, or the 1968 streets of Chicago with Hubert Humphrey.
Pull for the Pope.
Peter
